Parenting has been brutal the last two weeks. It all happened at swimming lessons. The first two lessons went really well and then Aliza decided she was afraid and didn't participate any more. Rest assured I'm leaving out A LOT of details! I tried every tactic I could think of...reward, punishment, lecture, prayer. Nothing worked. In fact it only got worse. Both Monday and Wednesday I left the pool crying over Aliza's behavior, but also because of the way the teacher treated Aliza on Monday and me on Wednesday. I was embarrassed. I was humiliated. I questioned what I could have possibly done wrong over the course of Aliza's lifetime. And I prayed...and there were people praying for me and Jeremy.
By the time I went to bed last night or maybe it was during one of the times I was praying after being up with one of the children, I realized that God, in his mercy, allowed me to see Aliza in a different light so that we could become aware of a significant change we needed to make in her life.
We may be done with swimming lessons. I'm just not sure I have the courage to show up at the pool on Monday. Now my prayer is that I can remain consistent and steadfast in holding Aliza to our new expectations of her.
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