Christmas

I can't believe it has been a week already since Christmas. A lot has happened since then! Underneath the happiness and excitement of Christmas was planning for travel to my grandmother's funeral. As soon as the hype from each celebration ended, I could feel my underlying sadness creep up to the surface again. It has made for an especially exhausting holiday season. 

On Christmas Eve we were with my family. These 10 cousins have so much fun playing together. This time they played upstairs where they set up some kind of "war" game. They all came down sweaty and pink cheeked. Most memorable moment was when Brian and Dad gave each other the same gift--a Yeti bucket.

Christmas morning was pretty relaxed at our house. Anna insisted on giving her gifts first. She could hardly contain her excitement.

Isaiah named the dog Mr. Cuddles.

The foam sword immediately went down the back of his shirt--for easy access, I guess.

Aliza made me a handmade gift that she dreamed up. It is a wooden sign where she wrote Home is Where the Heslop's Are. She wants to add something else to it so I'll save the picture for when it is finished. I found the perfect spot for it right away. 

And then on the 26th we went to celebrate Christmas with Jeremy's family. Grandma Karen gave the kids each a pair of blue light glasses (they help reduce eye strain from screens). Anna's look similar to Grandma's so here they are twinning.

Aliza has saved to buy a Nintendo Switch Lite. Her plan was to buy it with her Dad and Uncle Joel right after Heslop Christmas. That's what they did! She came home one happy girl! She wanted to be able to play Animal Crossing which she bought on Black Friday and literally gifted to herself on Christmas. There was a gift under the tree on Christmas morning that she had wrapped and tagged "To Aliza From Aliza". 😂

It never ceases to make my heart melt when I find these two boys snuggled up together.

There were a lot of Nerf Guns involved in the boys' Christmas so the next day a Nerf war took place. It was quite memorable and, I'm pretty sure, will go down in the history books of the Heslop family.

So much fun, food, laughter and memories wrapped up in three days.



 

December 22

After I finished writing the last blog at 4:45am, I eventually fell asleep on the couch. We are on vacation schedule so the house was still and silent when my phone vibrated and woke me up at 8:00. It was a cousin I had called the night before and I figured he accidentally called me. But then he texted right away. His cryptic text made me pretty sure that Grandma had passed away. 

So I called him right away figuring my mom must be preoccupied with calls. He felt horrible that I had found out that way and as I was talking to him, my mom called. 

Grandma entered heaven in her sleep at 4:45am. The same time that I was awake writing that story about my special video call with her. Later I found out that my mom and one of my sisters was also awake at that time. 💖

On Saturday I had been very angry at the world we find ourselves in that is not allowing nursing home residents to have visitors. Grandma was confused enough to not really know where she was so she was not upset which I am thankful for. But still...she was alone for her last week. Knowing that some of us were awake as close as we could be to her in thought and spirit made me feel good. 

My sisters who live here and our children spent the day with mom filling her house with noise and activity. I needed something to do so I decided to make Grandma’s cut out Christmas cookies. I was quite pleased that they turned out so well. It’s just a given that no cookies taste quite like Grandma’s. 

We headed home late in the afternoon and there were a couple boxes on the step. One I wasn’t expecting. It was from a friend who knew my other Gramma, Reta. Once in a while Chrissy will send me nonpareil candies because Gramma Reta liked them and they remind me of her. So I opened that box and smiled...remembering both of my grandmothers in one day. 

I slept really good last night! When I woke up my first thought was Grandma is gone—reality sinking in. 

Remembering

It’s 4:45am and I’m thinking about this accidental video call with my Grandma. My phone is always on vibrate and not always with me in the morning but that morning it was with me. I knew when I answered that video call that Grandma would be shocked to hear me and see me. She was. She was sure that I had called her. She thought it was the neatest thing. We had a short conversation. I knew at the time that it was special. And now I’m so glad I grabbed that awkward screenshot to remember what, most likely, will be my last conversation with Grandma. 

 I feel like this blog story of mine needs a place marker here for the story to be complete. I'll let Joel say it in the words he used on his facebook post.

 Divorce has ripple effects through the family system. I've known for a year and my children have known since October. I had no idea it would be so hard--that it would feel like a death. I don't consider myself someone who cries easily, but tears have come regularly and at times when I've least expected them. My heart still hurts over the loss of my sister in law and friend. I'll consider my hurt and sadness a sign that I loved genuinely and well.

 

 

Second Chance

In January we bought a new sofa set. Our first new furniture purchase. I can’t remember if it was late summer or early fall, one of the children informed me that there was a hole in the top of one of the sofa cushions. 

I was very disappointed. There may have been a few tears. It happened when a child was mindlessly poking the cushion with a child safety scissors. 

I didn’t know how to patch it so, for months, I kept a blanket so that cushion in hopes of keeping the hole from getting bigger. 

In November I finally showed the hole to Janell to ask her how she would patch it. The salesman who sold us the couch is a friend of hers so Janell sent him a picture to see what he would suggest. From him I found out that we had a 1 year warranty. I just needed to call. 

I called customer service and after a couple transfers and holds, a new cushion cover was on its way. When it arrived I excitedly opened the package only to discover they had a sent me a red leather cover which does not even remotely match our sofa. 

After several failed attempts with customer service, I almost gave up. I decided to try one more time and that time I got to the right person and armed with a little more information I was able to make sure the correct cushion cover would be sent. 

A week or so later the correct cushion cover arrived! I/we have been given a second chance at taking care of a new piece of furniture! 

20 Years

I’ve been a little nostalgic today. Twenty years ago, tonight, Jeremy asked me to marry him. I said yes and I still say yes every day. 

While I was out with a friend, Jeremy, with the help of my brother, blew up balloons and put “I love you because...” notes in most of them. The balloons covered the floor of my room and I had to pop them to get the notes. Probably because of Jeremy’s constant flow of notes and poems and flowers, I did not catch on to this leading up to a proposal until very close to the end. 

He had one balloon tucked under the bed for last. The note in that balloon said “I have a question for you.”  And with that he knelt and proposed. 

Sometimes I miss that young, googly eyed, glowing, kind of love. 20 years later it is a love that is so much a part of me that I can’t imagine it not being there. Even if I try, I can’t imagine life without Jeremy. That is the mystery and beauty of two becoming one. 

Joy Dare::December

7600. Window air conditioning unit put away

7601. Afternoon walk

7602. Amazing full moon rising

7603. Lighting a candle in the evening

7604. Friends to share my heart with

7605. School going smoothly

7606. An afternoon playing outside with friends

7607. Having some time to talk with Jeremy this evening

7608. Anna listening to audiobooks 

7609. Crunchy leaves

7610. A friend to sit with on Wednesday evenings

7611. Dark evenings make for early bedtime

7612. Another afternoon to enjoy being outside

7613. My sisters—always ready to work together

7614. Fog hanging low in the morning

7615. A mother in law that I love

7616. Telling the children they have to play outside until dark

7617. Working outside in November and feeling warm

7618. Cut grass, clean flowerbed

7619. Spending as much of the day as possible outside

7620. Not on the contact list

7621. Morning light

7622. The ground covered with golden leaves

7623. Windows open in November!

7624. Quieting social media

7625. Anna recovered quick

7626. Aliza always has my back

7627. Finding some space for myself

7628. The children playing in huge puddles

7629. Dessert date with Aliza

7630. A couple really good talks with friends

7631. Isaiah’s use of air quotes makes me laugh

7632. Finishing a week of school

7633. Spending the evening close to Jeremy 

7634. Shopping and lunch with my girls

7635. Being there for a friend

7636. Anna and her birthday outings

7637. Honoring Grandad

7638. Family time

7639. M&M Blizzard made just for me

7640. Josiah had a great school day

7641. Morning Bible time

7642. The discussion went better than I thought it would 

7643. 10 children all playing together

7644. Isaiah running inside to tell me what happened when the ball went into the road

7645. Pumpkin whoopie pies

7646. Starbucks date with Jeremy

7647. Hugging my kiddos

7648. Orange sunset

7649. Grocery shopping with my boys

7650. Afternoon tea on the porch

7651. A fun evening with friends

7652. Celebrating Anna

7653. Having my family here for the afternoon 

7654. Found out our sofa has a warranty

7655. Snacks and sharing

7656. The smell of rolls baking

7657. Wrapping up school for Thanksgiving break

7658. Aliza truly helping with housework

7659. Church bells tolling

7660. Quiet morning when I can listen to the rain

7661. A really relaxing day

7662. The first holiday baking show of the season

7663. Family around the table 

7664. Grandma’s pumpkin pie

7665. Grandad loving his family

7666. Anna and Aliza so excited to meet a friend

7667. Josiah’s happy dance Chick Fil A

7668. A mother/daughter in law heart moment

7669. Friends to call when I’m a mess

7670. A little Christmas shopping

7671. A lot of laughter, a lot of honest conversation 

7672. Christmas shopping with Karen

7673. Apple pie

7674. My mom’s ear never falls off

7675. Thanksgiving leftovers

7676. The brightest sunset

7677. Cleaning under the couch wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be

Thanksgiving

We gathered with our families and I’m so thankful that we did.