Thursday, September 9, 2010

All Done In

This week has kicked my butt. It all started on Monday when Jeremy had to work and there was no holiday at our house. He worked 14 hours at a client 2.5 hours away. That means he did not get home until 5am. At 12:30am that night Aliza threw up. Aliza throwing up and Jeremy being gone are both situations in which I lose significant sleep. Putting them together I got very little sleep that night.

The hardest part of Jeremy being gone for a day and a night is the next day. I put a lot of energy in being patient and having a good day on the first day, but for whatever reason (lack of sleep most likely) that wears off the second day. And this week it seems each day has gotten harder.

I need more patience and creativity with my children then I have had in my reserve recently. Will they ever choose to obey? They are both doing things that make me want to beat my head against a wall. If I tell you not to jump on the bed, why do you wait until I am looking at you to start jumping on the bed? When I say come to the table for supper, don't declare supper is yucky. Just come to the table. And when we are in the grocery store, do not run away from me or talk/sing loudly, touch everything, or ask for more than one food treat. The list goes on, but you get the idea.

This morning was the first time I told Jeremy that I am over this pregnancy. I should be thankful that I made it to 28 weeks before I said that. I kept thinking this is life for the next 6 months. Tired, sore, overwhelmed. Nice depressing thoughts to keep me going!

I've kept it together thus far, but I got pushed too far and lost it this afternoon. Surprisingly, the children were not the primary reason for the meltdown. I got a call my Dr. office regarding scheduling my c-section. The Dr. I wanted to do the section is on vacation and no one is available to do the section on the date I really wanted. Double whammy. I really just wnated this one to work out MY WAY! It's #3 c-section and it seems like there should be some sonority priority at this point. Something always happens that brings up my feelings of "I never wanted a c-section in the first place and if I was allowed to I would choose a VBAC." I was disappointed and the tears flowed.

Now I've got to pull myself together. We travel this weekend.


Christy said...

I'm sorry you've had such a rough day. I hope things get better soon. Maybe a day at Grandma's for the kids? =)

Me said...

Oh carla, i'm so sorry you had that kind of day(s). You get all of my sympathy and then some, I never do good when DH is gone more than 8hrs either, the second day is ALWAYS worse, and its aweful to get birthing plans/wishes messed with. This is long, but I guess what I want to say is that I really understand your feelings and frusterations! Hang in there!

Janel said...

Man, why does it seem that when it rains, it pours! I'll be thinking of you friend...