This week I received my 2014 blog printed in a book. I started reading from January 2014 and realized that I could pretty much write similar posts for January 2016 and it made me laugh. You dear people who keep reading this little blog...!
I've pretty much hit the January doldrums:
It's cold and gray.
The oldest boy has way too much unspent energy and I lose my patience by evening.
Colds are going around. A couple in the household are being treated for sinus infections.
One of my closest friends moved a couple hours away this week.
A bright spot is that Aliza has the opportunity to be involved in a choir this winter. She had her first practice this week. Today she was much more positive about it. Sigh of relief. (I was going to make her do it even if she hated it.)
During Core Group this morning at CBS and our Teaching Director came in to share about the Children's Ministry--how two teachers have had to step down from teaching and asking members to prayerfully consider if the Children's Ministry is a place where you could serve. And tears start streaming down my face. A culmination of January dreariness? Maybe. This is what I've identified as going on inside my heart with CBS. I've seen the holes in help with the children. My natural instinct is to want to help, to be the one to keep going what has been so great for my children and me. I know that one day I will serve in leadership of CBS, but I also know that now is not my time. Now is my time to allow others to serve me and and my children, to speak life into our souls, even save us from each other at times. (I'm tearing up again writing this!) I need to be a gracious receiver of this gift. As I was praying tonight for teachers, I also found myself giving my CBS morning, my CBS community, my children's spiritual growth to God because this community we've found is a gift--it's not an entitlement.